eraisme: Laura Roslin from Battlestar Galactica looking at a bottle of pills (Default)
eraisme ([personal profile] eraisme) wrote2017-03-05 01:17 am


I've noticed myself falling deeper and deeper into depression.

Shocking, right?

Like, I know I have depression. It's something I've battled with for years. However, I feel like it's been worse this month or so than ever. I think I'm going to try meditation with going back on my medicine for a little bit.

I hate doing that though. I hate it so much.

Not the meditation thing. That I actually love. It helps quite a bit. It's the medication thing. It completely zaps every fiber of my creative being. All of it. I'll start to have an idea for a story, or for a section of the stories I'm constantly writing, but nothing is there. Literally nothing.

I've never written or created anything good/worthwhile/in general while on my medication. I literally just sit there and feel nothing. The absence of feeling is far worse than feeling "sad" or "angry". I can't pull anything from nothing.