I Practice Bad Girl Politics

I've been playing a lot of Watch Dogs 2 lately. It's a beautiful game, socially aware, and incredibly smart with everything it does. Essentially, it's what one wishes Anonymous was really doing. Exposing things that people suspect, and wanting the people to know.

It's what I wish this country was right now.

Now for something completely different.

I've been a bit depressed as of late. Trying my hand at the Tindr game again. I'm good at messaging/texting people, but my social anxiety kicks into high gear when I actually have to go out to meet them. Like...super high gear.

I had a guy who really loved me, we went out once, but texted a lot. Even when I tried to scare him off, he still wanted this. He was younger than me, and while that isn't really an issue, he was virtually unwilling to explore other cultures' food other than his own. He was SO HANDSOME THOUGH AND OHMYGODIAMKICKINGMYSELFSOMETIMES. Srsly though.

If I could secretly post a picture of him...I really fucking would, but I'm not an asshole like that, so I won't.

So, I'm back at the game again. Hopefully the game doesn't play me.



Also, I need to figure out how to put my moods onto here.

*sigh*

So...in case you though this can't possibly just continue on the depression train. It will.

I'm not sure if it's attributed to stress or what. I'm not sure at all. Probably. It probably is. For instance, I never had a period this month. How am I supposed to track this thing if I'm not even having it. There's no chance of pregnancy. That's...the thing I want most and the thing that's least likely to happen, but it's been over a month.

Then work just ramps up even more. My performance there is awful and I'm...just not there. THERE. There. Know what I mean? I'm tired ALL of the time. I'm even tired now, but if I went to sleep, then who would write this depressing entry? Like, I can't even write with it. Too depressed to write and when I take pills, too emotionless to write as well. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Know what I mean?

I can't have normal relationships anymore. Not with men. Not with friends. I feel lonely, but I want to be alone. I feel empty, but I'm comfortable with it. I'm going to venture further into the rabbit hole.

Also, I need to work on trying to get my mood icons transferred over. I'll probably have to do it again. Also, my regular icons. I have to do this bitch up if I'm just going to be depressed and at home and in bed all the time.

I've noticed myself falling deeper and deeper into depression.

Shocking, right?

Like, I know I have depression. It's something I've battled with for years. However, I feel like it's been worse this month or so than ever. I think I'm going to try meditation with going back on my medicine for a little bit.

I hate doing that though. I hate it so much.

Not the meditation thing. That I actually love. It helps quite a bit. It's the medication thing. It completely zaps every fiber of my creative being. All of it. I'll start to have an idea for a story, or for a section of the stories I'm constantly writing, but nothing is there. Literally nothing.

I've never written or created anything good/worthwhile/in general while on my medication. I literally just sit there and feel nothing. The absence of feeling is far worse than feeling "sad" or "angry". I can't pull anything from nothing.

I really can't wait to have my journal the way I like it. Much like my LJ. This is insane and it hurts my eyes. Does anyone suggest a great DW layout community?

Is there life after starting Fallout 4?

What is life?

What is anything anymore?

1) Shash and I have been sluggish in doing the remaining episodes of Minor Incidents. We both want to get back to it so very much. However, shit keeps coming up. We were going to try for this week, but I now have a bloody cold. SRSLY?!

2) Doctor says I have extensive nerve damage and my arthritis is what ails me. Makes sense. Nothing I wasn't expecting. I'm just too young for it, TBH.

3) I spent 2 hours copying GIFs to a flash drive so I can have them for my Chromebook. I really think it was a good usage of my time and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.

4) I was matched up with my Prevent group and got my scale and stuff. In my group is someone in my department that I'm friends with. I'm totally thrilled. I wish it was another person in my department, but at least it's this one.

5) Christmas is only a few weeks away and I have only one more payday until it gets here. The girls are pretty much done, but I just have my friends left to tend to. I have no idea what to get them either.

I feel like I'm running out of time.

majorcrimes_mix - Fanmixes made with The Closer and Major Crimes in mind.

rizzoliislesmix - Fanmixes made with Rizzoli and Isles in mind.

Honestly, TNT should pay me for this shit and promoting the best shows they have. Would love if everyone promoted on their journal and actually joined if you're a fan. Pretty things from fans all around is never a bad thing.

So the other day, I got a ReTweet by the organization Drop 4 Drop. This is a big fucking deal to me for many reasons. I mention the group about three times a day because it is so amazing. I love it so much, I will tell you about it.

So many countries around the world do not have clean water. The same water that is used to go to the bathroom in, is the same used to wash, and it is the same that they drink. This causes people to get very sick, and most to be born with birth defects if not die. It takes £1 (or $1.50) to give one person clean water for life. That's all. We pay more than that for just a single bottle of water for ourselves.

People in the US don't know enough about the organization and they should. Especially since tax season is coming up. Tax season, for most Americans, means refund season as well. So, I ask of you, with the little bit you get back, why not donate some of your refund check as well? Especially to something like this. Every little bit counts.

Also, why the fuck aren't you following me on Twitter? @THE_Redux (Twitter name provided by the one and only Alice Ripley.)

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!

NEXT TO NORMAL TOUR ICONZ & BANNERZ OVER AT the_nerd_voice!!!!!